Charlotte Diocese says priest did not violate conduct policies during confession with teens

The Diocese of Charlotte has found that a priest did not violate any of its conduct policies during confessions with teens at Charlotte Catholic High School in North Carolina last December.

Multiple families whose teens attend the school had complained that a priest stepped over the line into “inappropriate” talk during confession, but in a statement to EWTN News, the diocese said it “looked into complaints raised about conversations that occurred during confession at Charlotte Catholic High School last December” and did not identify any “violations of our conduct policies” in the priest’s behavior.

The families, who wished to remain anonymous to protect their daughters, said that during the sacrament of reconciliation, a priest asked the young women “unexpected and personal questions,” according to a report by WCNC Charlotte.

One father said the priest, who has not been identified, asked his daughter about sexual sins.

According to the young woman’s mother, the question was unrelated to the sins she was confessing at the time. “‘Mom, I was telling him about missing Mass and lying to you and fighting with my brother … and we were not talking about anything sexual at all and he just asked me that,’” the mother said.

Another mother reported that the priest asked her daughter “if she’s ever had a sexual relationship with a boy.”

Those two families and others said they informed the school as well as the Diocese of Charlotte of their concerns.

In its statement, the diocese said it has communicated about the matter “with all involved at the time and has addressed the issue with all priests of the diocese, reiterating the need for pastoral sensitivity in celebrating the sacrament.”

According to the Diocese of Charlotte, Bishop Michael Martin also responded by letter to the families, who told WCNC they received similar responses.

“I am sorry that your daughter had a conversation in confession that made her feel uncomfortable,” Martin reportedly said in his letter.

He said priests sometimes ask clarifying questions during confession or lead a penitent who has not properly examined his or her conscience.

The Catholic Church teaches that the faithful should examine their consciences regularly, but especially prior to the sacrament of reconciliation in order to make a good confession.

“Penitents frequently come to the sacrament having engaged in a limited examination of conscience,” Martin continued, saying a priest might “raise common age-appropriate struggles with sin … to jog his or her memory or give them the benefit of having only to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ so they do not have to describe the sin in too much detail.”

He reminded the families that priests are prohibited from breaking what is known as the “sacramental seal,” or discussing what they hear in confession.

Charlotte Catholic High School did not respond to EWTN News in time for publication.

Several of the parents who raised the issue expressed dissatisfaction with the bishop’s response, however, with one parent saying she felt her concerns were “dismissed.”

“The whole letter felt like we were being gaslighted,” another mother told the local news outlet. “We understand what is appropriate and inappropriate.”

Nevertheless, one of the mothers said “I’m still a faithful Catholic. I just want this to be about doing the right thing.”

The dioceseʼs statement continued: “Confession is a sacrament meant to address sins so a priest can offer a penitent absolution and guidance. A variety of topics come up during confession, and according to Church norms, a priest may ask clarifying questions and, if necessary, assists the penitent to make a complete confession.”

“Confession is a sacrament Catholics learn about at home and at their church, through required sacramental preparation classes. Confession is offered on a voluntary basis at our schools, and as Catholics, students are encouraged but not required to participate at school,” the statement concluded.

Priests’ perspective

A priest who serves as a chaplain to middle and high school students told EWTN News that he knows of only one case personally where a penitent was “scandalized that the priest was asking for clarifying information,” which he acknowledged priests sometimes do to help the penitent make a “good confession.”

“People are sensitive about topics like that right now,” said the priest, who wished to remain anonymous. “Even with completely innocent intentions, things can play out really badly. We’re in the ‘Me Too’ season, we’re in the ‘priests are pedophiles’ time of history.”

The priest told EWTN News that he does not “regularly lead [penitents] in examination of conscience” during confession. He added: “I donʼt know of a single priest that does.”

In addition, the priest noted that there “is a beauty of the seal of confession,” he said, but because of it, a priest accused of wrongdoing “is helpless, not that he’s necessarily innocent, but his ability to defend himself is really limited.”

Another priest and former high school chaplain who also wished to remain anonymous told EWTN News that it is possible there was a misunderstanding, because young people, “especially teen girls, are often embarrassed to speak of sins of a sexual nature and are sometimes not clear during confession, requiring the priest to ask clarifying questions.”

“But the priest should not bring up questions unrelated to the sins the penitent is confessing, and then, they should be clarifying questions only to help him or her make a better confession,” he said.

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